Apartment Life

I wrote this a few months ago and never posted it...oops...


We are almost two months into our new living situation, a cozy, two-bedroom apartment in South Charlotte.

So far, things are going well!

We definitely underestimated the amount of time that it would take to downsize while Ben works away from home, and I work at home while keeping Ellie. As of right now, we still have a wall in our bedroom lined with boxes, and just paid for another month of using a mostly-empty, but still needed, storage unit that we had expected to be empty by now.



I'd say our quality of life has improved. There is much less to stress about. For me, staying home with Ellie is such a blessing. There are days where I talk Ben's ears off when he gets home (which isn't always welcomed) because I've spent all day without any interaction with other adults. But I love getting to know her, and noticing all of the little things about her. Like how much she loves when a gentle breeze blows through her hair. How she scrunches her nose every time she takes the first sip from her sippy cup. How smiley she is when she wakes up from her morning nap. Things that I may still notice if I were working, but I get to see more of them staying at home with her.


I won't lie though. There are moments where I get super frustrated with our new living situation. Where I forget why we are doing this and can only focus on the negatives of apartment life.

Like the first week that we were here, when someone hit our Jeep pulling into or out of the parking space next to it, and caused $500 worth of damage to the rear driver's-side door. Or when our fifty-something bachelor neighbors that live below us have parties and the words to the music can be understood through the floor in our living room (they were playing Bruno Mars last night). Or when our next-door neighbors, with whom we share a bedroom wall, play bass-heavy rap music in their bedroom that is so loud that our windows rattle.

Or right now, for example, as I sit on the couch and enjoy a quiet moment while Ellie is sleeping…a neighbor has decided to exercise by running up and down the three flights of stairs. Fifteen minutes and counting y'all. Props to her for the dedication?

This would not have happened at the house. 

Maybe I should have just kept my job.

All it takes is one audible verse of "Locked Out of Heaven", or a few minutes of repetitive stomping coming from the breezeway, and I am too busy feeling disrespected to remember why we are doing this. I get lost in thoughts of doubt and anger and regret.

But then, each time, I am reminded to calm down and refocus.

There is purpose in this.


Like the time that my next door neighbors played their music so loudly, during nap time, and I was already having a hard time as it was getting Ellie down. I was fuming mad. I couldn't believe how rude someone could be. I debated whether I should pound on the wall, call the front office or walk over there, all while thinking about how none of this would be happening in the house…and then I look over at Ellie, who is sitting up, grinning, and dancing to their music. Ellie could make the best of a "bad" situation, why was it so hard for me to?

Now, don't get me wrong. I've pounded on the wall a few times, and I think that it is horribly inconsiderate of my neighbors to play their music that loudly, especially knowing that they are in an apartment and sharing walls with others. I don't understand how people can be so rude and I never will. It's just that when my emotions are involved, I start to doubt all of the changes that we have made.

Is having to deal with loud music really worse than being stressed out and never getting to see my family?


No. No. No.

Currently Seeking: A New "Normal"

Just a thought for the day:

Except for us, normal would have also included paying someone that we could leave Ellie with so that we could work to pay for all of the excess that we had (and are still working to get rid of). 

If you are a working parent, please please please do not take this as an attack on you. I totally understand needing to work to support and provide for your family. Really and truly I do. All of the changes that we have already made and are continuing to make are because they are what is best for us.

In our situation, guilt did not come from leaving Ellie with a sitter, but from doing so to be able to afford what we don't need.

And for us, we just could not justify keeping the house, buying new things, keeping current with technology…all while spending the entire day away from Ellie. We would rather spend time with her, and spend less time maintaining less/smaller things, even if it means living in an apartment for a while. 

Why I Stopped the Minimalist Challenge

If you're looking to get rid of stuff, and aren't sure where to start, the "minimalist challenge" that I posted about earlier is a great motivator, as it "snowballs". I started the challenge at the first of the month, with plans to go through September. You may have noticed that my month-long challenge lasted a week.

The reason why?

We moved.

Not only did we move, but we downsized. I didn't, at all, take into consideration the timing when I started it. I need to get rid of a lot of stuff quickly, and the minimalist challenge just didn't work on that timeline.


So back to our move. This was the next step in our lifestyle change.

For the past two years, we have lived in Matthews in a beautiful, two-story home on a half-acre lot. We loved that house. We loved the neighborhood, the community that it was in, the layout, the yard…even the previous owners!

When Ellie was born, I had every intention of going back to work. I did. But the first time that I looked into those big blue eyes, I knew I'd do anything to stay home with her. Despite having an awesome babysitter lined up, I couldn't bear the thought of paying someone to spend the day with my kid while I spent the day with other people's kids. I wanted to be with my kid.

Luckily, Ben was fully supportive of me staying at home, with his only request being that I contribute financially somehow. I have been blessed to have found two work-from-home jobs that allow me to do just that.

The "downside" to this decision was that we needed to re-evaluate our finances. Living on one income was doable, but not comfortable. It also didn't fit into our plan of getting out of debt. So, we looked at my (slightly obsessive) monthly expense sheet, and looked at any expenses that could be reduced. I made phone calls, lessened service amounts, and changed policies. While there was a change in our monthly expenses, it wasn't enough to make as big of an impact as we wanted it to.

Like a lot of people, or biggest monthly expense was our mortgage. We talked about the possibility of lowering our living expense, and what that would look like. Like I said before, we loved our house and everything about it, but when we really analyzed our needs in a home, we realized that we were paying for way more space than we needed. We discussed each room, and whether it was a necessity or not, and realized that we didn't need about half of our house. That made the decision to sell and move easier.

On the topic of house sizes, have you ever looked at the statistics on house size? Did you know that the average house size has more than doubled in the past 60 years?!

(I got this from this article on the NPR website).

We opted for a cozy, two bedroom apartment in south Charlotte near Ballantyne, and we love it so far. Downsizing has been a huge undertaking, but it's so necessary and it feels great to get rid of so much stuff that we collected during in the two years that we lived in the house.

And if you're nosy like me, here's the link to our listing, that will likely be taken down soon. :)


Also, if you're looking to buy or sell, we strongly recommend our realtor, Justin Wessel. He is fantastic! If you are buying, I know a guy who can help you with your financing too. :)

Minimalist Challenge: Week One

Seven days down = 28 things gone! 

I'm really enjoying getting rid of stuff, and laughing at myself as I discover some of the ridiculous things that I have been holding on to!

I really do recommend that you try this challenge, even if it's not for 30 days. For me, this challenge makes me take baby steps toward getting rid of stuff. I don't get overwhelmed when I am going through things, like I would if I were trying to tackle an entire room in one day. I can just find "x" amount of things and be done for the day, knowing that the end result will be me having gotten rid of 465 items. 

I find that I am making it more difficult than it needs to be by trying to stick to a "theme" each day. I know that will be harder to do as the numbers get bigger, so I'll have to get over it. It's the teacher in me I guess.

I think the hardest part of it for me has been trying to remember to post, as we have another huge change coming up very soon, and preparing for it has been consuming most of our time! That, and today is Ben's birthday, and we have been celebrating all weekend! :)

Stealing From Ourselves!

"He who buys what he does not need steals from himself."


Ouch.

We live in a society where we are made to feel like we need things to feel better about ourselves, to remain "current" and "relevant". And I will be the first to admit that I am totally guilty of buying into this.

When I think about all of the things in the house that we have purchased and don't use, it embarrasses me. These things that we spent our hard-earned money on, yet have little to no impact on our life and well-being. Clothes. DVDs. Electronics. Maybe it was a good deal. Maybe it was an impulse buy. Maybe I saw someone else with it and thought I should get one too. Regardless of the reason why I bought it, I spent money on it. It's sickening to think of how many hours I worked for some of the things in my home that do nothing but collect dust. (Was another shirt really worth one hour of work?)


There are two practices that we use now when considering what we buy:

1) If I want to buy a $10 shirt, I consider this - If someone came up to me and offered me either $10 or the shirt, which would I choose? If I'd choose to take the cash over the item, I don't buy it. 

2) I consider how much time I would have to spend at work for the item, consider what kinds of things I could get done at work in that amount of time, and consider whether or not it's worth it. (Would I have sat in this meeting for an hour for this DVD?)



Ben and I are in the process of making a drastic lifestyle change - one that I will be documenting as much as possible. I won't get into too much of the details yet, but basically, it started out as a conversation in which we looked into Ellie's future and talked about what kinds of values we want to instill in her. One of the things that we have discussed is wanting her to desire and value experiences and relationships, rather than things. And that convicted us in a big way when we evaluated how our current lifestyle would encourage or hinder that. We also discussed how our money is being spent, and looked at how much effort we have to put into maintaining our current lifestyle.

So back to our "things"…the first thing that we are tackling is our excess of unnecessary things in the house. We have had a garage sale, put stuff on eBay and Craigslist, and have taken carloads of stuff to Goodwill. It felt so good to get rid of so much stuff. It's amazing how attached you can get to these things when you consider giving them away, but when you actually do it, it's amazing how little the absence of those things impacts you.

For me, the two biggest reasons why I hold on to stuff are nostalgic reasons and the "what if"s. What if I go to a wedding and I really want to wear this dress and regret having gotten rid of it? What if I feel like wearing bright blue pants? What if I need a pair of grey, wool dress pants for something? What if I need brown heels to match the outfit that I'm wearing? Guess what? I can probably borrow them from someone! I "borrow" (haha) clothes from my sister all the time, why is this different?


If you're thinking of paring down your clothes, but aren't sure how to go about it, consider this suggestion from Oprah:

Turn all of your current-season clothes hangers backwards (the annoying way, with the point of the hook facing toward you). Set a length of time (three weeks, six weeks, etc.), and during that time, each time you wear a piece of clothing and return it to your closet, hang it the opposite way (rounded part facing you, point of the hook facing the back of your closet). After that set amount of time expires, take a look at your hangers. The ones that haven't changed positions since the beginning of the set amount of time are the clothes that you don't wear, and could clearly do without.



So this is step one in our plan. De-clutter. De-own. Unattach ourselves from things. Starting tomorrow, September 1, we are going to have fun with it, and take the Thirty Day Minimalist Challenge! I encourage you to join us!

More coming soon!

-Katie

She Won.

More than likely, you are on my blog via the link on my Facebook, which means that you probably know two things:

1. I recently started selling MaryKay 

2. My mother was diagnosed with, fought, and beat breast cancer.

Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer on October 31, 2012, following a physical examination for a new job. She was told that the lump was nothing to worry about...until they did a mammogram. The mammogram showed a growth that was likely cancer, but she was again told not to worry...until they did the biopsy. Two lumpectomies later, they determined that she had not one, but two types of cancer - the first being a more mild form, and the second being an aggressive form. The lumpectomies caught it right before it entered the closest lymph node and blood vessels. We're talking millimeters. My mom's new job literally saved her life.

Now, here we are, one year later. Mom has had check ups and has been deemed "cancer free" at them. Literally days away from the one-year anniversary of her diagnosis, she will walk in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer (October 26-27). What you may not know about this walk is that participants have to raise money to participate. 

I've talked about #2 on my little list above, but here is where #1 comes into play. I want to help her finish raising the rest of the funds with the help of my Mary Kay business. (Does anyone else find it ironic that I am using Mary Kay to raise funds for an Avon walk? Haha.)

From now until her walk, I will not keep a penny of any of the profit that I make on my sales. I am going to give it to her. I'd also like to give her a card with your name on if you can help by placing an order with me. Every little bit will help.

Here is the link to my site:

http://www.marykay.com/katielivengood/en-US/_layouts/MaryKayCoreCatalog/ProductsAndShop.aspx?dsNav=N:2000040

Seriously, anything will help. It's such a cliche fundraiser thing to say, but it is so true. I would hand her the remaining money that she needs out of my wallet if I could.

Also, if you are able to place an order of $75 or more, I will give you a quilted cosmetic bag trio as a gift! Any orders that I receive will be placed at the end of the calendar month that you order in.

Starting down the exciting path that is motherhood, I cannot imagine doing it without her. I am grateful every day that the cancer was caught in time, and that I get to have her guide me through this special time in my life. 

Is there any reason why you can't help me help my mom take her well-deserved victory lap?

Mom

Mom only has one more chemo treatment to go! :):):):)
If you'd like to read about her battle with breast cancer, please visit her CaringBridge website:


https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dianejordan/
The password is: GoGators (case sensitive)